I hate LinkedIn

There I said it, I hate LinkedIn. Almost every person I’ve talked to about the job hunt has told me to start with LinkedIn, but I’m not feeling the love. You see, from what I’ve gathered, LinkedIn is a site to use for people who already have job experience and are seeking a new job. That’s what gets you in the door, experience. For me, my experience on paper doesn’t say as much as my life experience has to offer. There’s no appropriate spot on the resume to show off how many mL’s of Motrin to give my kids when they’re sick, no spot to show where I balanced a budget on one income for years, and definitely nowhere to start a conversation and show off how charismatic I can be in person. Nope, none of that. I’m not trying to have a pity party, I knew it wouldn’t be easy, I just didn’t realize it would feel like I was hitting so many dead end roads.

Which leads me to the one page I have applied most to, “The Mom Project”. This company gives me a glimmer of hope because they state that their mission is to help women (mothers) find their way back into the workforce. So far, I have only gotten one very politely written rejection letter from them. Rejection is fine, I’m ready for it. It’s been a hard realization that my identity and worth to a business is narrowed down to my one page resume. I’m not trying to put all of my eggs in one basket but I have my eye on “The Mom Projects” job listings most of all. Moms helping moms, I dig that.

I don’t truly hate LinkedIn, I just am disappointed with how impersonal their job site can seem. Technology and resumes can be limiting, I mean, is that really the best we have to offer people we are wanting to hire to work for our businesses? I would love nothing more than for each application I submit, to get a 5 minute video interview. It’s just too easy for companies to write me off after looking at my resume. Which is why it’s time to be bold. Considering most companies don’t even send a rejection letter (this is very common by the way so I take no offense to it), I’m going to go big or go home. Some companies allow you to write a brief explanation of why you’re excited/qualified to work for their company. That’s my shot, that’s my window to give them the ole’ razzle dazzle that is my bright and shiny personality.

I’m not trying to be vein, but I have so much to give!!! I just need to get an interview, to get in the door, to get one phone call. Then I can show them how worthy I am of entrusting me with their company. Maybe this blog should have been titled “I hate resumes”. I’m way cooler and have a lot more to offer than the cheesy, overused phrases that we use to try to wow an employer on a resume. But, that’s what I’m stuck with. That’s the format companies use. Maybe I need to create a business that uses other forms of applying for a job than a sheet of paper. I’ll ruminate on that.

I told yall I would keep you up to speed on the job hunt. It’s been …fine. Nothing to brag about, nothing worth mentioning, lots of applying, lots of silence, a couple of rejection letters. And that’s okay. Why? Because I’m not just sitting on the sidelines waiting for my life to happen, I’m happening to my life. I am in control of my destiny and I know nothing worth having comes easily. I also get it. I get that companies need someone well-versed in certain fields. I want the company that hires me to want me and as much as I want them. Until that company offers me an interview, I will persist on, keep trying and keep bringing all that I have to the table.

At the end of the day, a job is just a job. I firmly believe you can do something that brings you joy and also makes you money. My prayer is that wherever I end up, God uses me as a vessel to make this world for the better. Onward and upwards friends! The hunt continues (on LinkedIn) for now!

Andrea

Ponder Your Passions

A wise friend recently told me, the path to finding my way, is to ponder my passions and use that as a road map to help make a more informed decision in choosing a career. Therefore I ask you, can people be a passion? My passion is people. There is nothing that ignites a fire in me more than investing my time into getting to know and connect with people on a deeper level. It truly is my greatest gift; it is where I feel I am tapping into the deepest parts of myself and the place I can offer the highest, truest version of myself. I am fearless when it comes to asking the bigger, deeper, more personal questions. I am a firm believer that the best way for us to truly better understand one another is to ask the deeper questions. Unsurprisingly to me, people want to share, if only they were asked. I can generate questions, fill a silence in a room and bring even the shyest of hermits out of their shells, and I love doing so. Why? I love getting to know people. I love getting the opportunity to get a clearer picture of why they do things a certain way and what aspects about their lives contribute to who they are as I meet them. With all that I am, this is all that I know for certain; people are my greatest passion.

How do I translate my passion into the workplace? “Really good with people” is a difficult thing to properly explain or define on a resume. I do best with person-to-person exchanges, yet the job market wants a sheet of paper defining my worthiness or buzz words to demonstrate my talents. I am more than that. I believe that this is where corporations are missing out on people like me. Anyone can learn excel or marketing strategies. Working well with people, connecting with people and creating space for people isn’t anyones gift, it’s my unique gift. People are my passion. Side note, typing “people” into the search engine on LinkedIn is a dead end road (obviously). Jokes aside, knowing how to take these skills and narrow them down to a job title in a search engine is hard, really hard. But, you gotta start somewhere. Looking back, I’m kicking myself for getting a degree in Education and not in Communications-sadly I didn’t know myself enough at 19 years of age as well as I do now. You live and you learn, right?

Where do I go from here? In my pursuit of a career, I will keep doing what has always served me best; connecting with people. I will keep seeking deeper connections. I will keep creating space for meaningful conversations. I will keep showing up exactly as I am, and I know unequivocally that if I continue to do this, it will lead me to my next opportunity. In the pursuit of a job, it’s easy to let doubt have a louder voice than hope. One thing I am certain of is that there are possibilities all around us. When you know what you want, and you know where your passion lies, you will have an even better, more clear idea of what job is best for you. As little kids, you constantly are declaring what you want to be when you grow up, a veterinarian, a builder, a scientist. I’m an adult now, and if someone were to ask me what I want to be when I grow up, my response is: I want to create a career out of my greatest passion, people. If Oprah ever sees this, tell her to look me up, I need a mentor. Until then, I’ll be here, showing up for myself and for each of you.

I hope you are inspired to ponder your passions, no matter how unconventional they may seem, because your passions matter.

Andrea

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

To be honest, I am wondering and I feel a little lost …and that’s okay. I told you I was going to take you along with me as I began the process of heading into the workforce. Blogging has been the easiest way for me to express myself, so it’s the first place I’m starting. I am wandering, but I know I will eventually get where I am going.

In my wandering, I realized I needed a clearer picture of what type of job I see for myself. To re-iterate, I realize we all must start somewhere, but that does not mean that you have to say yes to every opportunity that comes your way. I believe that when you have a better sense of what you want from a job and what you’re unwilling to sacrifice, it makes it easier for a people-pleaser like me to create firm and clear limits.

Which brings me to the amazing list of wants and needs. If you are like me and are at the cusp of the job hunt, I highly recommend this strategy. Its simple. I got an index card and on one side I made a list of must haves. This is the list that I am unwilling to settle on. If a job comes my way and does not fall into the must haves category, then its a no go. The must haves need to be realistic. This is also the place where you hold firm on your values. For example, a must have for me is that I want a part-time job with flexible hours. I am just scratching the surface of my re-entry into the work force after having been home the last seven years. I want a job that still allows me to show up and prioritize my family. This is incredibly important to me, so it goes under the must have category. You get the idea.

On the other side of your index card, make a list of wants. The wants side is for the dreamers. This side is still incredibly important. Too often we sell ourselves short. Creating a list of wants allows you to widen your horizons. This is the area that you may list the type of work environment, opportunities for growth and dare I say, the salary you would like to make. Be realistic, but be open-minded when creating your vision here.

After creating these two lists, I was able to get a better idea of what type of job that works best for me and my family. Again, I am a people-pleaser and at times I can feel the weight of others saying “you were given an opportunity and you said no”. Yes, friends and family. I will say no, until I am sure of my yes. Why? Because too often I say yes to the vision someone else has for my life. I have to follow my gut, put my faith in God and hold onto hope that the right job will come along and I will be sure of myself when it does. This is why making a clear list of your wants and needs is critical! Use it as a reference each time a new job opportunity comes your way, it’s one of the best ways you can stay true to your boundaries and vision for a career.

If this blog post seems entitled, I would like to say, I know it’s not this way for everyone. Sometimes you do have to say yes to a job to pay the bills and take care of your family. Too often, I think we say yes because we think that is our only option or that is all we are worthy of. At times, I think we are unhappy in our jobs, because we lose sight of what’s most important to us and settle. I acknowledge that I am fortunate to have a loving and supportive husband who has provided for me and my family and will continue to do so until I figure out my next step. If you are working in a job you love, savor it! If you are working in a job you hate, maybe it’s time to consider other possibilities. You are worthy and capable!

At times, I think I write these blogs for myself. To remind myself that I am worthy and that it’s okay to be a little lost and that it’s okay to figure it out as you go.

Pray for me as I head into my last summer as a stay at home mom. Pray that I soak up the days with my girls and pray that I gain more and more confidence in myself to pursue the job that best suits me and my family. Thank you for following along! If I can encourage you in any way, know that I am here!

Andrea

Shooting My Shot

Here goes nothing…Or everything.

For the last 7 and a half years, my destiny was almost written for me. I graduated college and walked the stage pregnant with my oldest daughter. While she was a sweet surprise baby, in many ways she served as the compass for my sense of purpose and direction for the last 7 years. Having a surprise pregnancy inevitably forced me to put my career on the back-burner and focus solely on raising tiny humans. Fast forward to present time, I have a beautiful family, two daughters Addison (7) and Caroline (5) who I have loved on, cared for and been fully present in their lives every waking moment of each day. My mom hat is tattered, covered in glitter and finger smudges from tiny hands, is fading and is ready to be retired. Cue, my entry into the workforce. This blog series will be an honest, surreal, and eye opening journey to the path of finding a job as I transition from mommy to mommy with a job.

I, like most parents who have stayed home with their kids, have a giant gaping gap in my resume (the time spent raising good humans); so the idea of dusting off my laptop and starting to take a peak at my old resume was daunting. Considering I went straight from college right into staying home with babies, the past job experiences didn’t seem to amount to much. Next, I had to decide whether to include “stay at home mom” as part of my resume and past job experience or not. After a chat with family and a few google searches, I decided to include it. Why am I including stay at home mom on my resume you ask? Because it is work that matters. I have given 7 years of my life, time and energy to my family, and it is time I feel that was well spent and worth noting. If you have stayed home with your kids, even if youve just stayed home with them over Christmas break, you realize the tremendous workload raising children requires. Thankfully we live in a time where stay-at-home moms are valued and our efforts are fruitful, but it still doesn’t feel like it was a “real job”. A few other things I added that were worth mentioning on my resume was owning and operating my own cookie business, and countless volunteer hours I have given to a couple of leadership roles through church. I then sent out my resume to some trusted family members to help me fluff it up a bit. Complete resume-check.

After updating my resume, I started to search online for jobs. What a nightmare. To be clear I have my Bachelors degree in education, but I don’t want to be a teacher. Not because I’m not qualified or won’t be good at it. I don’t want to teach because I come from a family of teachers and I know the time and commitment it takes to be a really good teacher. While we are on the topic, thank your kids teachers, they need to hear it more than you know! Teaching is just not the best fit for my family right now. My main goal for all of this, is to find a job that still allows me to be there for my family, ideally a part time job, where I can wear the mom hat and the career hat simultaneously. Knowing all of that, searching for jobs online with no real sense of purpose or direction was like walking into Homegoods without a list, lots of aimless wandering and leaving more confused than when I started. I even did one of those career quizzes just to have some sort of an idea of where to start. As it turns out, all roads lead back to writing. I love to write, I am good at writing, I am comfortable writing. So I figured this was the best place to start.

What next? I would love to blog or freelance write for businesses, so if you know anyone who needs a rock star writer, send them my way. While blogging is fun, we are in a time where social media is the place to be. I’ve started an Instagram page @andrearhodestx, where I will share more personal, detailed stories about how the day to day job search is going. I’ve downloaded Canva and Inshot, where I plan to teach myself how to add graphics to my posts, create reels and get more familiar with more in depth social media posts besides simply sharing my photos. Picture lots of Youtubing and text exchanges with my younger cousins for how-to tutorials.

Now can I talk about my feelings for a second? I’m scared y’all!. I’m scared I’m disappointing friends and family for not following through with teaching. I’m terrified that no one is going to want a stay at home mom with very little work experience. I’m a little bit of a lost soul at the moment if I’m being completely transparent. But that’s okay. I do have skills, I am smart, punctual, personable and I have a massive willingness to learn. I am capable of much more than I realize. To be honest (again), I’ve been paralyzed by fear. I’m tired of being stuck on the sidelines watching others shoot their shot. I am quick to encourage others to go for what they want, but slow to go after it myself. So here I am, starting somewhere. If you’re reading this feeling the same nausea I have just thinking about applying for jobs after staying at home, you’re not alone. Everyone who every did something new and big in life took a chance. Be scared and do it anyway.

I realize hopes and dreams don’t pay the bills, but hopes and dreams are the spice of life and if we aren’t going after what we actually want, what are we here for? If we aren’t going after what we really want, someone else will. Our time on this earth is too short to follow the plans someone else has designed for your life. Bet on yourself and have the courage to try and fail. I am shooting my shot, and I will keep shooting until I get it right.

I will continue to include you on this journey. It wont always be pretty, but it will be honest and will hopefully speak to you on some deeper level.

Andrea Rhodes

andreajohn2047@gmail.com

IG: @andrearhodestx

Passion Project

Whoa there! Its been a hot minute since I’ve done a blog post, but here.I.am.

I’m alive, just like the rest of us. Hanging on by a thread some days, drinking too much wine on many, consumed with moments of euphoria and time with my precious kiddos, and yelling at the top of my lungs at the next (if you’re not yelling at your kids sometimes are you even a real parent). I digress.

The underlying tone that I am getting from MANY of my mom friends, is that there are a lot of you who are hanging on by a thread. And I’m here to say, its okay to not be okay. This pandemic has loomed like a dark cloud that just wont seem to go away. Throw in election season and sprinkle it on top with VIRTUAL LEARNING. I honestly sometimes ask myself, what planet am I on and how do I leave?

Upon some reflection, I realized that I needed somewhere to put all of this energy I had to give to to other mommas. I needed something that was for me. I needed to take a breath and some time for myself. Its funny, it seems like in this day in age, if your’e not haggard, helicopter parenting or giving every last thought to your children, then you’re not doing enough as a mother. And this couldn’t be further from the truth. Ever heard that saying “you cant pour from an empty cup?” Well my cup was empty, and I kept asking myself why and I so unhappy. Why do I feel so resentful some days. I think its obvious, we have been with our children every waking second of the day since March. And its okay to need some room to breathe. Realizing, I wanted to be a better mom and wife, I knew I had to do some digging and see how I could shake things up.

Okay, shes finally getting to the friggin point… After a lot of talk (i loooove to talk) I finally decided to put my plans into action. I made a list of all of the things that bring me joy and fulfillment, because in my opinion, those are the things we should be honing in on during these dark and somewhat depressing times. Those things included: supporting other women, using my natural gifts of being a leader, my love of compelling conversations, my love for wine and my hearts desire to bring women together to feel seen, heard and supported as we slowly crawl out of the the bomb shelter also known as quarantine.

SO, I messaged a group of ladies from my church and took a leap of faith. I told them my idea, a night of “compelling conversations” I texted my vision and plans and was met with and uncomfortably long period of radio silence. But I didn’t care, the crickets churped and I held tight to the hopes that one or two women would be interested. And slowly, I had 8 mommas say they would come to my house for a night! Whew, what a relief!

Welp, that was held last night and it was amazing! I was so excited and nervous and happy that I took a total leap of faith. I planned the entire night, ran it by several friends and family, shared about it with others, I was plain old giddy. Why? Because I was using my God given talents! I created a space of authentic conversation among mommas who honestly could use an ear. I created space and time for women to gather and just be themselves. I am so eager to keep the momentum from my ladies night going. And if you were one of the ladies who came and are reading this, please don’t let my over-enthusiasm scare you from coming back next month. But yall, I’m sharing this because I want you to know that its that simple. We don’t have to walk around feeling depleted and drained. FILL. YOUR.CUP. then get back to bidness, yep you read that right, get back to bidness.

Look, I’m just a stay at home mom with this gigantic ball of energy to give and I needed and outlet to put that energy. If there is something you have been wanting to do that would fill your cup, DO IT! Ill be the first to support you. Love taking photos of your kids and want to do photography simply for the fun of it, buy the camera and get to clicking. Want to start a cookie business, hit me up, Ill give you my recipe! Want to share your love for yoga with others, offer to have a free yoga class in your neighborhood park. The hardest part is taking the first step. Not talking, but doing. Take action. Its the only way you’re going to come out of the funk that I know many of us have been in.

I had to share this with you because I think its worth talking about. Its worth spreading some GOOD news. Its worth taking some time for YOURSELF!

If you are inspired by this but don’t know where to start, message me and Ill help you!

I love each of you! Life doesn’t have to suck. God is GOOD. Life is what you MAKE IT! Know that you are seen. Know that your ideas are worthy of someones time. Trust your gut and take a step in any direction.

One foot in front of the other friends.

Love you always ALWAYS,

Andrea

Mommin it 101

My oldest daughter Addison turns 5 in like 3 weeks. I like to think I am a fairly seasoned stay at home mom. I have had lots of close friends reach out and ask me for tips, advice etc. so I thought I’d take a moment to share what helped me. Also, ignore everything I am saying as “truth” or “the right way”. We are all different. We have very different children, schedules, partners etc so please just use my advice as some helpful guidelines from a gal pal.

pro tip 1

Make mom friends! For me, this was essential to my existence. When Addison was about 9 months I realized I felt very isolated. Being the first of many of my friends to have a baby made it feel like I was alone sometimes. In an attempt to get healthy, I started going to a mommy and me work out class, aka baby boot camp. This was huge for me. While I seem like an extrovert, starting something new like this was very intimidating. So I did what anyone would do. I forced my loving husband to come to the park where the trial class was and “walk the dog” so I could have my security blanket and exit strategy on hand. Thankfully I didn’t need him and survived. But I’m telling you guys, going to that first class took a lot of courage. I forced myself out of my comfort zone and I’m so thankful I did. I now have my core group of girlfriends here and they were all my “boot camp friends”. We not only shared dreading our work outs, we shared the universal language of motherhood.

The point I’m getting at is that you need other moms who are going through the same things. Someone to ask “have you started feeding your little one Cheerios” or “what’s your sleep schedule like”. I used my mom friends as my own personal guides. You will never regret finding other moms who can walk through motherhood with you. So however it may be, find mom friends as soon as you can!

pro tip 2

Make time for yourself. And i mean it…

I’m writing this blog from my bathtub as I can hear my youngest beating her play dough out of its tube on my already destroyed kitchen table. My husband knows this about me. I don’t function without some time for myself.

When my girls were tiny my “me-time” was running with them in the double stroller. Now my me time varies from a trip to Loft, dinner with my boot camp friends or something as easy as sneaking away to the bathtub with a glass of wine.

Moms you are not dubbed “worlds best mom” based on how many hours you have gone without a break. That’s just …stupid. Talk to your husband, find a sitter, MAKE THE TIME!

Stop right now now and think about your week and where in your schedule you can find time for yourself. Is it a walk, an early morning yoga session, a drive around in the car, or a trip the the promise-land, Target. I don’t care how or where or who is involved, just find time for yourself. You will feel refreshed and fulfilled and you won’t regret it.

pro tip 3

Stop comparing your life to others. I’m not going any further into this. “Comparison is the thief of joy”. Period.

pro tip 4

Take the help. If you have just recently had a baby or are about to; take the help. Someone wants to send you dinner! Let them. Your mother in law wants to come babysit so you can go on a date night? Let her! When someone is offering their help they are trying to show you how much they love you and your family. Stop trying to be a hero. Accept the help.

Pro tip 5

Dont worry about other people’s opinions. Everyone is going to have an opinion, and I like to believe they are all seeded with good intentions. But your gut, your unit, your husband, your children, that’s what really matters. A lot of people are going to think they have a right to tell you how to live your life, they don’t. Don’t live with the consequences of someone else’s decisions for your life. This is a tough one for me because I’m a natural born people pleaser. But as of late I have come to the realization that too many of my actions were to impress or gain the approval or others and those days are far behind me. We can love our family and friends and still choose to do what we see is best for ourselves and our families.

pro tip 6

Believe in yourself. Believe that you were chosen specifically for your babies. You’re going to make mistakes. If you’re not making mistakes you aren’t growing. Ask for forgiveness when it’s necessary, but go easy on yourself. Lean on your significant other to help you through the difficult seasons, and do the same for them. Turn to your mom friends for advice. But know that you are enough. Always try to choose gratitude and joy but if you fall short it will be okay.

 

I hope this helps. My intention is always to unite people, spread love, compassion and understanding.

You are one decision away from changing the entire trajectory of your life. Choose wisely.

I love you all.

 

andrea

Curiosity and Courage

It’s been a while, but I try and only blog when I think I have something important to share. Clearly this is important-keep reading 🙂

If you don’t already know, I have recently started selling cookies. To the average person, it just looks like I have found a new hobby. But it’s so much more than that.

The last few years of being a stay at home mom have been challenging. I love my children and I wont ever regret these moments, but it is also in these moments I have grown and grappled with many emotions. I worried so much and still do from time to time, about who I will be after I am done being a stay at home mom. What is my identity? Who will hire someone with zero work experience? And what do I even want to do? What is my passion? I’ve never been the kind of person to know exactly who I was and where I wanted to go, I’ve always had to learn along the way.

It all started when I decided to do train for my half marathon. I just started the book “Girl Wash Your Face” by Rachel Hollis, and she spoke to my soul. In so many words she told me to stop making promises to myself that I wasn’t keeping. So after chapter 4, I found a half marathon and booked it. I vowed to ME that I would follow a training program and stick with it. Even when it was cold, even when I was out of town, even when I had kids in tow, I would keep this promise to myself. And I did. Was it easy? NO! I had to work so hard for each mile, each training day, and each time I had to tell my husband I had to leave so I could get my training in. I had to practice. I had to show up. I had to try. I had run about 5 miles that summer and I had always had the curiosity about training for a half, but I always talked myself out of it. I would never measure up. I wouldn’t be able to get as far as I thought. I wasn’t capable of running 13.1 miles. But I did. I had the courage to TRY and to show up for myself each day of training.

Which leads me to my cookie venture. I had asked another cookie girl around Addison’s birthday about purchasing some cookies from her and she was asking $36/dozen, which to me at the time seemed outrageous! I thought to myself about how I should just learn to do those cookies myself. But I didn’t. It wasn’t until my mother in law (shout out to Lisa) had the curiosity and the courage to take a cookie decorating class and share her newfound cookie knowledge with me. After I did them, I realized that this was something that sparked joy in me. So I headed over to youtube and tried it for myself. I took cookies to family events and my local church MOPS group where I had a lot of positive feedback. These wonderful people gave me the COURAGE to attempt baking and selling cookies.

So I started an instagram and followed all the fancy cookie people. Yall, I wanted to quit so bad. Once I saw what they were doing and compared them to me, I felt like I had to back out and throw in the towel. Luckily my amazing husband put it this way, it was like I was showing up thinking I could play basketball on par with Kobe Bryant who has spent years and hours of practice perfecting his skills. So I persisted. And I am so glad I did. I started following other “cookiers” as they like to call it, and instead of comparing myself, I drew inspiration and the opportunity to learn from them. My goal was to bake cookies and practice decorating them once per week and each week to work on and perfect a new skill and so far, I have been able to do that and more.

Where am I going with all of this? You guys IM NOT SPECIAL! I just had the curiosity and the courage to try. And its scary putting yourself out there. You’re setting yourself up for judgement, scrutiny and self doubt. But you guys no one got better by letting that get you down. No one learned anything by not screwing up. No one was able to see how many people love and support them until they tried and put themselves out there and gave them the opportunity to support them. So what Im trying to say is, if you have something that you have been curious about, or your family and friends keep telling you “hey you have a knack for this” and its tugging on your heart to pursue it, then DO IT! I promise Ill be your biggest cheerleader! Just show up, set goals, work hard and TRY! Thats the secret!

So to you it may look like this cookie thing is just a fun hobby, but to me it is so much more. It has empowered me, it has lit a fire in me that I have been deeply searching for and it has given me the opportunity to come here to you today and light your fire! Find your fire, and set it ablaze and let nothing hold you back. And if you’re not there yet, which I have been there for far too long, trust and know that you’re thing/hobby/passion will present itself, but when it does you have to LISTEN and have enough curiosity and courage to seek it.

We don’t have to have it all figured out, sometimes the only way to figure it out is to take a leap of faith, take a step in whatever direction you choose, just stop standing in the same spot and take a step. Knowing that it will be hard, but doing it anyways.

Keep shining friends!

Curiosity and Courage

It’s been a while, but I try and only blog when I think I have something important to share. Clearly this is important-keep reading 🙂

If you don’t already know, I have recently started selling cookies. To the average person, it just looks like I have found a new hobby. But it’s so much more than that.

The last few years of being a stay at home mom have been challenging. I love my children and I wont ever regret these moments, but it is also in these moments I have grown and grappled with many emotions. I worried so much and still do from time to time, about who I will be after I am done being a stay at home mom. What is my identity? Who will hire someone with zero work experience? And what do I even want to do? What is my passion? I’ve never been the kind of person to know exactly who I was and where I wanted to go, I’ve always had to learn along the way.

It all started when I decided to do train for my half marathon. I just started the book “Girl Wash Your Face” by Rachel Hollis, and she spoke to my soul. In so many words she told me to stop making promises to myself that I wasn’t keeping. So after chapter 4, I found a half marathon and booked it. I vowed to ME that I would follow a training program and stick with it. Even when it was cold, even when I was out of town, even when I had kids in tow, I would keep this promise to myself. And I did. Was it easy? NO! I had to work so hard for each mile, each training day, and each time I had to tell my husband I had to leave so I could get my training in. I had to practice. I had to show up. I had to try. I had run about 5 miles that summer and I had always had the curiosity about training for a half, but I always talked myself out of it. I would never measure up. I wouldn’t be able to get as far as I thought. I wasn’t capable of running 13.1 miles. But I did. I had the courage to TRY and to show up for myself each day of training.

Which leads me to my cookie venture. I had asked another cookie girl around Addison’s birthday about purchasing some cookies from her and she was asking $36/dozen, which to me at the time seemed outrageous! I thought to myself about how I should just learn to do those cookies myself. But I didn’t. It wasn’t until my mother in law (shout out to Lisa) had the curiosity and the courage to take a cookie decorating class and share her newfound cookie knowledge with me. After I did them, I realized that this was something that sparked joy in me. So I headed over to youtube and tried it for myself. I took cookies to family events and my local church MOPS group where I had a lot of positive feedback. These wonderful people gave me the COURAGE to attempt baking and selling cookies.

So I started an instagram and followed all the fancy cookie people. Yall, I wanted to quit so bad. Once I saw what they were doing and compared them to me, I felt like I had to back out and throw in the towel. Luckily my amazing husband put it this way, it was like I was showing up thinking I could play basketball on par with Kobe Bryant who has spent years and hours of practice perfecting his skills. So I persisted. And I am so glad I did. I started following other “cookiers” as they like to call it, and instead of comparing myself, I drew inspiration and the opportunity to learn from them. My goal was to bake cookies and practice decorating them once per week and each week to work on and perfect a new skill and so far, I have been able to do that and more.

Where am I going with all of this? You guys IM NOT SPECIAL! I just had the curiosity and the courage to try. And its scary putting yourself out there. You’re setting yourself up for judgement, scrutiny and self doubt. But you guys no one got better by letting that get you down. No one learned anything by not screwing up. No one was able to see how many people love and support them until they tried and put themselves out there and gave them the opportunity to support them. So what Im trying to say is, if you have something that you have been curious about, or your family and friends keep telling you “hey you have a knack for this” and its tugging on your heart to pursue it, then DO IT! I promise Ill be your biggest cheerleader! Just show up, set goals, work hard and TRY! Thats the secret!

So to you it may look like this cookie thing is just a fun hobby, but to me it is so much more. It has empowered me, it has lit a fire in me that I have been deeply searching for and it has given me the opportunity to come here to you today and light your fire! Find your fire, and set it ablaze and let nothing hold you back. And if you’re not there yet, which I have been there for far too long, trust and know that you’re thing/hobby/passion will present itself, but when it does you have to LISTEN and have enough curiosity and courage to seek it.

We don’t have to have it all figured out, sometimes the only way to figure it out is to take a leap of faith, take a step in whatever direction you choose, just stop standing in the same spot and take a step. Knowing that it will be hard, but doing it anyways.

Keep shining friends!

the truth

I hope that I am coming to you a little wiser today. I wanted to share some truths that I have recently discovered that I believe to be essential to finding happiness.

Truth #1 life isn’t about being happy

As a child, I truly believed that life was supposed to be good, at all times. Now as an adult I realize life is full of hardships. The tough times suck, but the tough times are what make us! The hardships provide opportunities for relationships to flourish and for personal growth. I know when we are in the tough times we want out, we want to escape, we wish this wasn’t us or our family or our realists. But later, we look back and see that most of the tough times in life are the defining moments. The hardships make us into who we become and who we are meant to be. Enjoy the good times but know that hardship will come to you, embrace both equally.

Truth #2 You are not in control

We spend so much time making things exactly as we picture them in our minds and when we fall short then we think we have “failed”. It is impossible to be in control of every aspect of your life. You can’t control if some jerk tailgates you on the freeway, but you can control your response. We can’t control the weather, other people or situations but we always have the power to control how we respond. We desperately want to feel like we are in control at all times and the brief moments we aren’t, we typically fly off the handle. I’ve also learned this to be true about relationships. We can’t control someone else’s actions or the things they do or don’t do. This is a tough one for me. Stop trying to fight it, don’t try to “fix it” or expect people to think, act, or respond the same as you. Putting ourselves into someone else’s shoes and being open to new perspectives and opinions are vital. Accept that every single day, at some point, you will not be in control.

Truth #3 The power of positivity is real

This one is simple. We get so caught up in the day to day life that we forget to share a smile, to encourage someone, to compliment someone or to just pour our hearts into whatever it is we are doing. Positivity is a frame of mind and a state of being. But sometimes it is so hard to be positive… when the kids are fussing, or your boss asks you to stay late or when you step in a piece of gum walking to your car… how can you possibly be positive? Well it takes practice, sincere earnest practice. Positivity requires being intentional in WHATEVER it is you’re doing (yoga, taking your dog for a walk, working in your garden) if we approach each new experience with an open and intentional attitude, the return is sooo worth the investment!

Truth #4 You are enough

You, yes you who is reading this.

you

are

enough

Give yourself some credit. Stop and reflect on the accomplishments that you have tackled. Be proud of them. There is always something we want to work on or wished we did better, work on them. But at the end of the day, our time here is s h o r t… so stop wasting so much time hating on yourself. Believe in yourself, love yourself and know that today, wherever you are in life, you are enough.

Ill leave you with this :

this biggest regrets in life are risks we didn’t take

much love

andrea

 

 

the trenches

Can I get a show of hands of who feels like they are barely staying afloat? No one ever told me being a mom would be this HARD!!! No one warned me, there is no manual and at the end of the day I find myself reaching for a glass of wine and watching the clock counting the minutes until bed time. Maternal instinct says: “what’s wrong with me, I should be soaking up every moment with my tiny babies” but then my kid poops in the tub for the 6th time this week and I just reach for my wine and grab some clorox.

I’ve come to the harsh realization that I can’t do it all. I can’t be a great mom, make healthy meals that my children will love and eat, I can’t be a fitness junkie, a good wife, a good sister, a good daughter or any of the above all at once. Which is difficult, because whatever area I am lacking in, I feel like I’m failing. I can cook healthy meals and play with my kids, but my house suffers. I can clean the house but then I feel like I’m neglecting my kids… and anyone who acts like they can do it all is LYING! Which brings me to my next point. Why do we try to act like we are doing it all? Gosh I love the girls who are transparent with me, that can relate to me and empathize with me. Because this is TOUGH and if we don’t ban together then all of our tiny dictators are going to overthrow us!

So what’s the secret sauce to having it all? Realizing that you can’t. Once you can accept that you can’t be perfect at all times in all areas of your life, then you will begin to find joy. Once you forgive yourself and celebrate the small victories can you begin to enjoy being a mom, or a person for that matter.

I’m not sure why I thought having my girls 23 months apart was such a great idea, because right now I am drowning yall. And I know that that’s okay. But just because I know it’s okay doesn’t mean it makes it easier to deal with. I know the only way I am going to make it is by being transparent and sharing my struggles with others who can give me some good ideas or encouragement. And if you know a mom that you admire or she’s someone you think can “do it all” tell her! We need now more than ever to know we have the love and support of those around us. Being a stay at home mom is a thankless job, so it never hurts to tell someone that they’re doing their job well. Let’s come together as women and empower one another.

Sending you all the love and hope and happiness in my heart. I’m off to go clean the chalk out of my daughters mouth.

Andrea